Sunday, May 23, 2010
Found/collected items/Memorial?
Ive been thinking about my project and the direction I want to go with it. I tend to leave things open ended and I think I do that so that I dont get stuck doing something I dont want to do or maybe because Im really interested in a lot of things. Whatever the case Ive been holding out on pinpointing a certain direction for my project until the last minute, which is the day before I need to have a direction figured out, so today! And my latest insight into the things Ive been doing has to do with a memorial, at least I think.
I had a conversation with my mom, which is to say that I said a couple things and the rest of the hour and a half sitting at the dinner table was filled with my mom talking about me and my dad and herself and how Ive impacted her life and how alike my dad is and sort of changing the subject? maybe? But it was interesting. Most of the time when I talk with my mom, I feel like she doesnt quite understand what Im saying and is sort of seeing things at face value, even though she tries to look "deeper" as she would say, into things and she thinks she does. Not sure if she really sees things so differently than other people, but in any case she sure thinks the world of me, which is pretty neat. She was saying how my generation is going to change things and is going to be a good generation, and she kept saying how exceptional I am and she seemed to be talking as if I was going to lead the charge. She always seems to think that Im going to do something big or something like that. Not sure. But I was curious if I could use any of what I got from that conversation for my project and something about making an impression on people, and maybe on oneself is what I sort of got a focus on, and how that relates to my project.
I feel as though what Im doing now is all basically a look back at when I was younger, and a way to try and learn about myself. I also feel that the things I did as a kid were about leaving an impression of myself for the future, but it was mainly an impression for myslef. I said before that Ive done a lot of things with other people in mind, people who I dont even know yet, like my children or my future wife or maybe my future grand kids, friends and family in the future, maybe a future employer, almost anyone I might come in contact with. But the image that comes to mind when I think about the future, at least the one I can remember having when I was yonger, is of me as an older man in my room, alone in an empty house, or if not empty, then in my room by myself with family in the other room or in the kitchen or something. I started doing things so that I could be more independent from my possessions and able to leave at a moments notice, also free from other people. And yet I did all of these things with other people in mind, but I always saw myself as being alone in the future. Im not sure what that all means quite yet, but it brought the idea of a memorial for myself to myself in the future. Maybe also a memorial for my future self? probably not though. But really Im not sure. I know that the idea of creating a memorial is where I want to go. Or at least what Im thinking and is what is now standing out to me.
I had a conversation with my mom, which is to say that I said a couple things and the rest of the hour and a half sitting at the dinner table was filled with my mom talking about me and my dad and herself and how Ive impacted her life and how alike my dad is and sort of changing the subject? maybe? But it was interesting. Most of the time when I talk with my mom, I feel like she doesnt quite understand what Im saying and is sort of seeing things at face value, even though she tries to look "deeper" as she would say, into things and she thinks she does. Not sure if she really sees things so differently than other people, but in any case she sure thinks the world of me, which is pretty neat. She was saying how my generation is going to change things and is going to be a good generation, and she kept saying how exceptional I am and she seemed to be talking as if I was going to lead the charge. She always seems to think that Im going to do something big or something like that. Not sure. But I was curious if I could use any of what I got from that conversation for my project and something about making an impression on people, and maybe on oneself is what I sort of got a focus on, and how that relates to my project.
I feel as though what Im doing now is all basically a look back at when I was younger, and a way to try and learn about myself. I also feel that the things I did as a kid were about leaving an impression of myself for the future, but it was mainly an impression for myslef. I said before that Ive done a lot of things with other people in mind, people who I dont even know yet, like my children or my future wife or maybe my future grand kids, friends and family in the future, maybe a future employer, almost anyone I might come in contact with. But the image that comes to mind when I think about the future, at least the one I can remember having when I was yonger, is of me as an older man in my room, alone in an empty house, or if not empty, then in my room by myself with family in the other room or in the kitchen or something. I started doing things so that I could be more independent from my possessions and able to leave at a moments notice, also free from other people. And yet I did all of these things with other people in mind, but I always saw myself as being alone in the future. Im not sure what that all means quite yet, but it brought the idea of a memorial for myself to myself in the future. Maybe also a memorial for my future self? probably not though. But really Im not sure. I know that the idea of creating a memorial is where I want to go. Or at least what Im thinking and is what is now standing out to me.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Found/collected items
Here are some more items Ive found. Some of these are from around my house. This one is a camera memory card I think. It reminds me of this little plastic piece of toy or something that I had when I was younger. I got some sort of Star Wars toy when I was younger and there was a little chip that went along with it, and if it was sort of plugged into another part of the toy a little recording would play, something that the character says in one of the movies I guess. Well I didnt have the thing that was meant to play the recording I remember, I think that was sort of an incentive to get another toy or something like that. Anyway, the piece that I kept so long wasnt the little chip that came with the toy, but it was another chip, just like that one, that I found on the ground. It was from the same toy series, but it was from a different character. Somehow I had found this piece of plastic in the dirt outside somewhere and decided to keep it because I thought that Id find someway of playing what was on the chip. I never thought that Id eventually get the other part that would play the recording on the chip, I thought that I would actually build something to play the recording on the chip. Thinking about it now, I also remember thinking that I would find these little things I carried around and would reminisce about a time when I was younger. I remember having these visions of myself as an older man, coming back to my room and having it be set up the same way it was when I was younger. I remember already having this sort of nostalgic feeling for these toys that I didnt even play with, they were just items that I guess felt or knew were a sign of me being young, or just a reminder of a time when I was young. If I kept some of these things, I could look at them much later in life and suddenly all of these memories would come back, and I think thats also a big reason why I kept so much junk. I didnt do anything with the stuff I collected, I just kept it so I could look at it when I got older. Thinking about it now, I feel like I've done a lot for the person that is me in the future. Ive done a lot with myself in mind, but when Im 20 or 30 years older. I suppose that is relevant also to why I dont drink or do any sort of drugs or anything that would be considered wreckless like that. Im always thinking about what it will be like for me when Im much older, and how I would be happy with myself to know that I can say that I never did something that I regreted, and to know that I could hope to have kids who are like me and kids who make the same decisions as me. I dont want to be a hypocrit by telling my kids what to do even though I was not like that when I was younger. For the most part I feel like Im trying to set a good example for my kids who dont even exist yet. I guess its just interesting what can come out of looking at a piece of plastic. If I remember correctly, I only threw that piece of plastic out a few years ago. It sat in my back pack which Ive had since 7th grade or so.
This is a little ocarina I got at the fair one year and I found it in my house. I remember that I sort of wanted it and I think my mom bought it for me cause she thought I really wanted it. I just liked the look of everything at the shops where one would find something like this, and I didnt really want it, I just sort of liked hanging around the atmosphere. I never asked for much when I was younger, and thats probably why my sisters often think that I get so much, because I get things without asking, just cause I never ask. But in any case, I remember getting this and I played it when I got it and then I took it home and somehow a piece broke off of it. I have no idea how it broke but I was upset about it because it broke probably the day I got it. I can remember a few days after getting it, my mom asking me if I liked the flute and if I had been playing it cause she hadent seen it. I told her I had because I didnt want her to think that I didnt appreciate the gift and I didnt want her to know that it was broken. I felt bad about it.
This is one weird little thing I found. Its a figure of some guy who is transparent and he has organs and bones inside. It a really neat looking thing actually and it looks like there was some effort put into making it. He's got bones and viens and organs and its pretty neat. Not 100% accurate of course, but whatever, still a strange object that I dont need to have at all but still find interesting. And I guess thats almost part of the criteria for this project so far, and object that is of no use to me.
Theres a hole in his neck which I also thought was wierd. Im not sure if maybe some kid who had this poked a hole in it or if its for a purpose. In any case, its a strange ambiguous feature that I decided to take a picture of.
Here is a glass jar full of peper.
Heres a lamp I found. Not as useless as some of the others, but still an interesting find considering that it is usefull and was not claimed by anyone.
Some piece of plastic I found. With this one, I realized that when I collected things when I was younger, I didnt really intentionaly take things or think,"oh I need to have this". Usually it just started out with me picking something up and just rolling it around in my hand and fiddling around with it with my fingers. And then I'd start to think about things I suppose, like what it will be like when Im older and maybe the thoughts are associated with the object. Well thats how this one happened. I didnt realize that I was keeping around a piece of garbage at first, I just had this piece of plastic which I have no idea where it came from, and then I realized that this is just some piece of trash Im fiddling around with.
I found this little thing in my basement. Its a little tie that you pull through itself to tighten around something. This one actually looks like it would be usefull too, but I really dont think Im ever going to use it.
This is a little ocarina I got at the fair one year and I found it in my house. I remember that I sort of wanted it and I think my mom bought it for me cause she thought I really wanted it. I just liked the look of everything at the shops where one would find something like this, and I didnt really want it, I just sort of liked hanging around the atmosphere. I never asked for much when I was younger, and thats probably why my sisters often think that I get so much, because I get things without asking, just cause I never ask. But in any case, I remember getting this and I played it when I got it and then I took it home and somehow a piece broke off of it. I have no idea how it broke but I was upset about it because it broke probably the day I got it. I can remember a few days after getting it, my mom asking me if I liked the flute and if I had been playing it cause she hadent seen it. I told her I had because I didnt want her to think that I didnt appreciate the gift and I didnt want her to know that it was broken. I felt bad about it.
This is one weird little thing I found. Its a figure of some guy who is transparent and he has organs and bones inside. It a really neat looking thing actually and it looks like there was some effort put into making it. He's got bones and viens and organs and its pretty neat. Not 100% accurate of course, but whatever, still a strange object that I dont need to have at all but still find interesting. And I guess thats almost part of the criteria for this project so far, and object that is of no use to me.
Theres a hole in his neck which I also thought was wierd. Im not sure if maybe some kid who had this poked a hole in it or if its for a purpose. In any case, its a strange ambiguous feature that I decided to take a picture of.
Here is a glass jar full of peper.
Heres a lamp I found. Not as useless as some of the others, but still an interesting find considering that it is usefull and was not claimed by anyone.
Some piece of plastic I found. With this one, I realized that when I collected things when I was younger, I didnt really intentionaly take things or think,"oh I need to have this". Usually it just started out with me picking something up and just rolling it around in my hand and fiddling around with it with my fingers. And then I'd start to think about things I suppose, like what it will be like when Im older and maybe the thoughts are associated with the object. Well thats how this one happened. I didnt realize that I was keeping around a piece of garbage at first, I just had this piece of plastic which I have no idea where it came from, and then I realized that this is just some piece of trash Im fiddling around with.
I found this little thing in my basement. Its a little tie that you pull through itself to tighten around something. This one actually looks like it would be usefull too, but I really dont think Im ever going to use it.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Found/collected items
Here are two things that I threw out that Ive been keeping in my room. The first is a little helicopter thing that I dont even know how to describe. It functions as a fan and had a sort of lollipop at the end of it. I got it as part of a little gift bag from the crew team that I joined this year. The other item is a toy sword that I think I got from someone who was in my acting class last semester. I dont really know how I ended up with it, but I think I kept the helicopter because I didnt know what to do with it, and I kept the sword cause I kept thinking that I was going to give it back. WELP! I didnt give it back.
This is a piece of wood I found on the ground when I was on a walk with Kristine. Im pretty sure it was the same walk that I took all those pictures. Actually maybe it wasnt. Anyway, I saw this on the grond and it looked interesting. Finding these objects is a good way to remind me of the way I thought about things when I was younger, which is good I think, because in the past year Ive been relating a lot to the way I thought about things when I was younger. I find that when I tell people about the things I used to think about, they seem totally blown away, and its funny cause I havent thought about that kind of stuff in a long time, and it was all stuff that I thought when I was pretty young. Ive been sort of wishing that I had never stopped thinking the way I had, and now I guess Im thinking about those things again, and I guess coming up with new things, so Im sort of excited I guess about this.
Here are some other things that Ive found, all jewelry. Theres 3 earings and a small chain. I dont know if one of them is an earing actually, I think it might be for something else, like a nose or...something, yeah I dont know. Im probably wrong, I dont know that much about jewelry and stuff.
This is a shot of the jewelry together with my phone open as both a source of light and an indication of the size of the jewelry.
This is a piece of wood I found on the ground when I was on a walk with Kristine. Im pretty sure it was the same walk that I took all those pictures. Actually maybe it wasnt. Anyway, I saw this on the grond and it looked interesting. Finding these objects is a good way to remind me of the way I thought about things when I was younger, which is good I think, because in the past year Ive been relating a lot to the way I thought about things when I was younger. I find that when I tell people about the things I used to think about, they seem totally blown away, and its funny cause I havent thought about that kind of stuff in a long time, and it was all stuff that I thought when I was pretty young. Ive been sort of wishing that I had never stopped thinking the way I had, and now I guess Im thinking about those things again, and I guess coming up with new things, so Im sort of excited I guess about this.
Here are some other things that Ive found, all jewelry. Theres 3 earings and a small chain. I dont know if one of them is an earing actually, I think it might be for something else, like a nose or...something, yeah I dont know. Im probably wrong, I dont know that much about jewelry and stuff.
This is a shot of the jewelry together with my phone open as both a source of light and an indication of the size of the jewelry.
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