what is happening? things have just sucked lately. i dont really know what it is, well thats not true i kinda do know, but whatever, stuff sucks lately.

anyway, ive been outside all the time lately, installing windows and it gets cold out there. i enjoy the winter though. sometimes when im out there i wonder how people could want it warmer, which is wierd cause its been about 2o degrees or so. i guess im just getting used to it. also my hand looks neat typing this now. the only light in the room is from the puter and its just dramatic lighting for my hand to type by.

speaking of hands, i saw a cool pair of hands today. i took a lead safety course and now im certified. well there was a guy there who was also taking the course and he was awesome looking. he had a beard that sorta hung from his face, his hair was kinda parted in the middle and later i noticed that although he seemed to have a lot of hair, it was kind of thining. his hair was slightly long, not to his sholders, but curled up under his ears and he was pretty thin and short. he had a very friendly face and his voice was incredibley calm and innocently coloquial. he had big eyes, a rather large nose, and long eye lashes, and i realized sometime in the day, i had just been thinking about this guy doing stuff, as if i was imagining him in a movie or something. i wanted him to be an actor or something. i just thought he had great potential for a character, or maybe he just seemed like he would be a great guy to be friends with. i dont know what it was but i started to relate him to a work of art and different definitions of art that ive heard before. he reminded me of something i had heard about why art is art and what makes art art.

apparently art is supposed to invoke a feeling, something that moves you. It supposed to be something that cant quite be explained but something you just feel, i suppose. i dont really know about this. i like to be able to explain things in words often, even if i dont often explain myself, so im not so sure about this definition of art. but seeing this guy almost made me laugh inside, cause he reminded me of that definition. and it made me think of another thing that i remember thinking about art. about how i feel that art, even if it isnt intentional, tends to be produced so that people can simply come together, and thats about it. there art the categories that art often falls under of course, politics, art about art, the zeitgeist of the time. most of the time, an artist is interested in how the public will view what it is they have to say through art, and it brings people together to discuss it, even if they are just brought together to disgree, they are at least coming together. there are always the artists who just produce work for themselves, because they feel like they have to make something regardless if anyone will see it. i admit i do this often, most of my music is this way. but for some reason this man made me think of that.

anyway, he reminded me of a work of art, however i heard that it is not very permissable to refer to non art objects as art, because it takes away from the meaning of the object and even more to the word. its like this friend i had who used to call everything beautiful. that wasnt the only word he would use to describe something but he did use it almost everytime he was talking about something. it agrivated me because i felt that if he really thought something was beautiful, he might try for a more eloquent and unique description of the object, because he had started to lessen the importance of the word beautiful. if everything fell under that word to him, then to be beautiful wasnt so special anymore.

so maybe this guy was just neat looking. whatever it was, i think i am the weirdest person you know. and by you i mean me cause im the only one who reads what i write. soooooo, im the wierdest person i know, becuase i thought about this guy all day, drew his hands and his profile, and at the end of the day told him that i painted and drew and asked if i could take his picture on my phone. so i took a picture of a man named shannon today. his name was shannon.

other than that im trying to be up beat about stuff and have fun, but its just not coming all that easy to me. and ive been writing songs and stupid stuff like a maniac. i sorta miss hanging out with people and friends. i went to caz the past couple of weekends and had a lot of fun but sorta blew that. o well, ill keep making songs about the same stuff and watching...the oc...online. yep, thats what im doin.