those days when all the fleeting whims, which started out as such and continued to burn much longer than just the simple strike of the match they should have been. those days when the actions you should have taken overshadow the mundane safe decisions youve made, the decisions youve robotically made, the ones that were made for you by mother culture, by mainstream, the decisions that werent decisions at all but in reality the lack of a decision and the acceptance of a path that has already been determined. those days when you dont wish to be still any longer, after you realize that even though youve spent dollars on gas and youve travelled 50, 60, 70 miles, you have simply been still all along, for far too long. those days when you question the exact reasons you are just where you are, the reasons you are not doing what you want, the reasons you let your refrigerator control where you go, the reasons your cell phone determines whether you can do this or not, the reasons you let your computer tell you where to live. those days when you realize youve listened to mainstream and, although you played dumb while pretending to believe what mother culture said, youve been the one fooled into just what she wanted, although you arent the true mindless believer, she turned you into a tool and a hypocrit. those days when the little music you make, when the few paintings you produce, when the chicken skratch youve sparcely kept skattered about, when the collections of photographs, the sketchbooks turned notebooks used as a constant reminder of new endeavors to pursue, when the mountain of songs used to bring you around the world is no longer enough. those days when you look at everything you own and no longer try to find a proper place for it to go, but realize that you are hold up in a room, in a building, and in a world filled with trash, with items used to keep humans and the mainstream obsessed with themselves, with their own progressive past that progresses to what really?, items used to keep the mainstream focussed on the desire to make money for the sake of making it, for the sake of occumulating the garbage they make, so that one can buy a piece of trash to help support another who must use that money to buy their own piece of trash so that they can feel the power of ownership, of calling something theirs because in reality they are all afraid of death and coming into the world with nothing and afraid of the unavoidable inevitability of leaving this world with nothing. those days when the inescapable notion of death does NOT scare you but the idea of death coming before you truly attempted to learn as much as you could about the world which you live for only a short time in does, and before youve broken from mainstream and showed the others what its like to be free, those who go to war and fight for freedom just to return to watch on a television what the freedom they protected means, those who would fire a gun in the face of freedom should they ever really come face to face with it because they all are just afraid of what they dont know and dont understand. those days when the plans youve made for the future, for your future, for a house, a garage, two cars, for a career, plenty of money, for a stable relationship and marriage, for a stable family and a stable life, when the safe plan for your life seems as though it has fallen from the face of the earth, with the only hope of a future existing in the whims which woke you in the first place, woke you from the false sleep and false dream impossed and willingly accepted. those days when you are sick of theoretical life kept traped in your head and wish to just bring it to the tangible world already, to live as you think and not as others think, to experince what you have in your head, but finally to pursue the mental in the physical world, to make yourself an honest person and to do what you will of yourself. those days when those hills which boarder the limits of your tangible mind, which frame the picture of your current safe life, when the horizon and the mountains in the distance seem to be calling to you for the last time, in their last effort to save you from the mountain of garbage you allow to keep you flustered and busy organizing, to save you from the money that does not exist but which is owed to the world. those days when you realize that the ties youve kept to all those who youve found to be beautiful, to those whove shared or learned about even a sliver of yourself and became interested, when the connections youve made to the ones youve shared something with are not as strong as you thought, but you still hold on because, although they hold you back from pursuing certain dreams, you also keep them there because you actually want to take them all with you, to show them what you think might be beautiful, to learn alongside them and share the beauty of the world with them. those days when the cold and the heat dont bother you not because it is a thing of beauty but because it has truly fallen into the realm of unchangables, because it keeps you in your thought and because the alternative would be the safe bet, because it is actually more work to remain so and because altering the self to feel as though you have power to alter the conditions of the environment is a lie and brings no new knowledge. those days when you simply wish to disconnect yourself from mother culture, but know that it can not be ignored, that mainstream has turned into a nuturer, one that helps support you so that you may ultimately support it. those days when you come to realize that as little as you are, as insignifigant as you may be and as minimal of an impact youve made on the world, what you feel is reaching to you from individuals years in the past and years to come, what you feel is branching out to you through out the FALSE invention of time, and that what is going through you and what you are going through is happening because you have become a vessel for the opposition, and you sit as a time bomb. those days when your silence is too loud, when the clouds are too beautiful, when the wind is too inviting and the weather too perfect, those days when the suitcase is empty or the suitcase is full, when the page is empty or the page is full, when youve nothing to say or youve said it all, when youre pulled by the song of mainstream as well as from natures call, those days when the paint just appears on the canvas as gold, those days when the extreme heat doesnt bother you, and neither does the cold, those days when you yearn for a friend wholl understand what you feel, those days when youd rather live existance alone because only the conclusions youve come to have ever been real, those days when you shake your head in disbelief of the beauty of everything in sight, those days when you finally have something to say but its grown too dark to write, those days when youre searching for an answer that you will never find, when the notes on your guitar will reach all of mankind, when youve mountains to write and it all means nothing to anyone but you, but it doesnt matter because youre finally saying something to yourself that you really believe to be true, those days that stretch longer than 24 hours, that come to a jubilant early morning end even though it started off sour, when you wake up and the pillow still smells like her hair and youd grab her hand and ask her to join if you thought she cared, those days when the mountains miles away whisper to you over oceans of time and the land promises a life of fulfillment where you can reach the sublime, when you rock back and forth, palms pressed to your head trying to forget the words that she said, when the moon shines so bright you could stay out till sun rise, when the warmth washes over your skin and the wind brings tears to your eyes. those days can be hard and leave you clutching your brow, asking yourself what happened and how. those days with those whims wont live forever but they will never die. theyll come back no matter your attempt to forget and no matter how hard you try. those days will be silent, those days will be loud. theyll bring you to shame and theyll make you feel proud. those days will come on at night and move you from sleep, theyll destroy all youve worked for and everything you reap. those days will come and leave you breathless with nothing to say. dont ever forget those days. those days are today.