organized garbage

idea for an installation...kinda. just a reminder for myself.

I had a long day at work that extended 2 days. First I worked at Target, cleaning all the bathrooms and vacuuming and all that stuff. 6 hours and no break with no time to even sit down. Its not all that bad, but I do have to kind of hustle to get everything done. So thats 4 am to 10 am. Then I had a break in the day before a new catering job at 3 oclock. I used my break to go to salvation army to get clothes for the catering thing. Then I went to the catering thing, a wedding. It was my first day and it ended up being an 11 hour day, I didnt get out till 2 in the morning. I think I was sweating the entire 11 hours, Im pretty sure I was. Thats not an exageration. Well then I had work again at 4 in the morning and I wasnt feeling up to it really. So I stayed there just to get the bathrooms done and left at 6.

Anyway, I was kinda tired and slept most of the day. When I woke up I watched this documentary called No Impact Man. I had heard about it maybe a year ago and wanted to see it. Well I did and liked it. Also got some ideas from it. And of course they relate to sci-fi...of course.

The movie is about a man who decides that he wants to live a year in his apartment with his wife and child, making no negative impact on the environment. So he doesnt drive or buy new things and doesnt produce any garbage, gets all of his food locally and all that stuff. It was great. In the movie there were shots of him being on tv and talk shows and good morning america and being in newspapers and all that stuff. It was a big deal, I mean I even watched the movie. He also had a blog and there were tons of comments and things written about him all over the place saying how he was stupid and dirty and that they didnt like what he was doing and hated it and thought he was rediculous or something. This all made me think of sci-fi.

Watching the movie, especially the parts where he was in the news, made me think of how this is such a sci-fi thing. A sci-fi thing is something that I often find myself thinking about. To me, finding a sci-fi thing, is something that is now common but once wasnt. It can also be the exact opposite however, for example in this case, something that once was common, but no longer is. I call this sci-fi and point it out cause it really stands out to me as a reflection of ourselves today and the way people have lived and the general outlook of our own lives and society and individuals throughout history. I call this sci-fi because I believe that the purpose of good science fiction is to broaden the spectrum of possibility and observation of ones self and ones society. This along with scientific evidence help to bring about the idea that perhaps there could be some merit to these ideas that seem so radical and unrealistic. Its sort of like this term used in acting and science fiction, its whats called the willing suspension of disbelief. It is clear when watching a play, that the people you are watching arent actually kings and queens, or street rats or actual cats. You have to willingly allow yourself to fall into this world in order to understand the story. Its the same with science fiction, clearly the idea of itnerstellar space travel isnt something that is possible for people the way we read it in books. But we have to willingly allow ourselves to believe the things we read in order to understand the story and the point or moral of the story.

So watching this made me think of sci-fi because I have this thing in my head that pops up when Im reading or watching or thinking about sci-fi...stuff. And that thing is the people who sort of dont allow themselves to become interested, or the people who see science fiction and fantasy as childish things that are a waste of time. It seems to me like the mindset of this person is one who might watch a space movie or some futuristic city film and just laugh at the flying cars and interstellar travel, thinking that its a stupid movie just because of the setting. Now I definetely find humor in most movies, based on a lot of things such as the setting and the dialouge and props and acting, basically the stuff that youre not really supposed to notice, but I point it out and laugh at it. However, this doesnt mean that the point of the story isnt relavent or important. Just because the effects of a film arent on par with spielberg, doesnt mean that what the film has to say isnt as good as something much better than spielberg. Most of his movies have a basic cookie cutter plot anyway, its just the effects that make a movie "good" today.

This movie, No Impact Man, and its tv and radio spots, made me think of the people who dont like sci-fi. In this case, Ill call them the insiders, and theres a reasom for that name. I call them that because they are the kind of person who cant seem to understand concepts outside of their realm of imediate impact on their life...in a way. Thats kind of saying a lot but it works in relation to this post and to the No Impact Man. All of the people who were disregarding this man and saying how much they hated what he was doing, they were the insiders. They are the same people as the ones who disregard science fiction as good works of literature.

What was so funny about this movie were those parts where he was on tv and in the news, because that was the total sci-fi part. People were baffled by what he was doing, and it kept coming up in the movie, the question of is it possible to lead a healthy happy life, while producing no garbage. What a silly thing. Its as if he were an alien and people had no idea what to do, they didnt understand it and werent used to it, so they basically came up with reasons to not like it, because it wasnt what they were doing. People seem to just be too involved with the way they have always lived. Something that is new might actually be a better choice than the way things are typically done today. After watching the movie I talked to Kristine on the phone who liked what I had to say about the movie. She is very picky about her food, and I think my talk about people disliking this man and his way, made her think about herself and her food habits. She told me about how her mom put frozen food in a microwave for a few seconds and that she got grossed out by it, because she didnt put it on a plate. She also told me about how her mom dropped some meat on the garage floor and came back in to wash it off to prepare it, but Kristine said that she wasnt going to eat it because it fell on the floor where theres dirt and probably gasoline.

In this situation, I thought of the things that people have been lead to believe are acceptable and healthy and safe. So in this case, microwaving food is safe, but without a plate its not. Having this device in our house which sends microwaves back and forth in order to produce heat which, after long term exposure is proven to have carcinigenic effects is safe. But frozen food with no plate? And the same with dropping the food on the ground. Its perfectly safe and smart to drive a car to work everyday which releases carbon emmisions and to then yourself walk around these vehicles that produce the material which then goes into your lungs, but washing off the food that fell on the garage floor isnt good enough to go into our bodies. The same hipocritical sort of logic goes into my job, of cleaning Target. What my employers and costumers are looking for is a clean Target, and by that I mean a store that doesnt have any pieces of garbage on the ground and one that has little garbage in the garbage cans and a shiny floor. This doesnt mean that its clean or that Im making anything clean. It just means that Im spreading chemicals all over the store and then flushing these toxic chemicals down the drain to go back into the water system. This means that Im just collecting all of the garbage produced in one day, garbage that probably adds up to 200 pounds, maybe more, I dont think I could lift all of it up if it were in one bin. Then Im throwing it in a bin to be sent to a place where there is nothing but mounds of garbage. And this is whats seen as safe and clean and heathly. But a man that tries to have no harmful effects on the environment is critisized?

Its hard to get all of my thoughts together when writing something like this because clearly there is a lot that goes into my thinking process, at least on this issue. Its also hard to write something that makes sense when Im somewhat angry at these people who I cant even really give a face to. Its the closed off mindset, the outlook which doesnt allow for progression as a more healthy functioning society. Its the in it for yourself mentality which breeds stagnation and closed off ignorance when anything new arrives. Im sure there are more things I want to say about this, and I know that it would just branch out to more and more things, but I think I should leave it at this right now, because ultimately I want to have a positive atitude when it comes to everything. Its hard to see a chance of a successful society of intelligent people living for eachother when I live and work on this planet. But I always want to have a positive outlook on everything I do, and I know that there is always something useful out of every experience. So that is the sort of mindset that I eventually want to go with in terms of this post. However Im a little torn right now with my feelings of agression to the bulk of people who are still insiders. So Im just going to leave this post as concluded.

this just in

just had an idea for a new way to travel. ok so im just going to let loose and sound as much like a nerd as is possible in order to make my idea understandable. its for long distance travel, maybe even space travel. its for magnetic attraction to actually pull a ship or vehicle. it would be sent through radio waves in a way, so that it is sort of on one signal. and then received by the vehicle and then it would pull in the ship or whatever. i dont think this is possible, but im sort of trying this thing out. here goes.

So I started to get interested in where all my interests and artistic ideas come from, and it brought me to being a kid and collecting stuff and yeah, basically just analyzing myself. Well I remember thinking about a lot of really radical stuff, and I started to run into these ideas again my senior year of college. It was funny, but a lot of the stuff I was learning about my senior year was stuff I had once played around with, like in acting class and my sci-fi class and just a lot of stuff. So NNNOOOOWWWWW... I decided to try and let loose with my goofy childish ideas and just let my thoughts come out. I dont even really care if its not possible. Cause the stuff might not be possible now, but maybe some day it is. Back in the 1700's it was impossible to reach people at a moments notice. Battles were even fought after wars had been declared over. But now, I can get information from around the world so quickly. It would have seemed like a rediculous idea if someone had said " if only we could have known instantly that the war was over, then these people woudlnt have died." of course back then people would have said"well thats just not possible to know that sort of thing." and it was true. it wasnt possible then. But there are so many things that have actually sort of started out in sci-fi books that end up coming true in a way. Im thinking of the hitch hikers guid to the galaxy. The actual guide is a book filled with virtually limitless information based on peoples accounts of traveling around the galaxy. This was a super rediculous futuristic idea. The book was written by a comic and it was in a setting where space travel, in the form of traversing incredible unthinkable distances is possible. Along with this, the idea of a book composed of information from numerous authors about traveling the galaxy is sort of a way of saying that he was making this incredible thing that was just not actually possible. But now we have the internet. Its not about traveling the galaxy, but im sure that its in there somewhere. Whats even more incredible, is that reading this book at the time it was written, 70's I think, Im sure someone must have said"wouldnt it be so neat if there was something like this? a place we can get all this info from different accounts? just look it up and you can get different oppinions on travel." and just like in the 1700's with that soldier wishing for a magic to be able to know things the instant they happen, this person probably got a response something like" yeah but theres no way that could ever work." And just like the change from the 1700's, now this is possible. The only difference is that was only about 30 years ago, where it seemed impossible to achieve a science fiction invention. Imagine what could be possible in the next 5 years.

I guess all im saying is that Im letting my ideas run wild cause I used to have loads of ideas that people thought were really great, and I kinda let them fade away cause I was trying to be realistic. The reality of the matter is, nothing can ever come to be until it is first thought up or tested. So what the heck, Im just going to go crazy with my ideas I guess. Besides, it gives me more stuff to write about on here.

Ralph McQuarrie

I dont like to have too much of just writing on here, so I figured Id put some of these up. Some of my favorite sci-fi art.

Nerd

So I think Im pretty much a nerd now, or a geek or something like that. Some word that is associated with not necessarily being intelligent but having an interest in sci-fi and whatnot. Keith and I were looking up movies and shows to get on the netflix and just about my only interest was in sci-fi. And I remembered, looking through, that I used to watch Quantum Leap as a kid. HA! What a rediculous show. Anywho we watched Blade Runner and Ive only seen that movie once before, so I was pointing out most of the things that I noticed which are also in Shadowrun, a super nintendo game I had when I was a kid. It was really funny watching this movie cause the games setting was pretty much the same as the movie, at least the best that the creaters could do at the time. The intro is the same for both, the main charaters look almost exactly the same and they even have the same name.

Anyway, I was talking to keith about some more of my ideas on transportation ideas, as sort of a futuristic setting maybe.
I started getting this idea awhile back that roads would soon be built with sensors at the speed limit signs, that read the speed of the vehicles passing. And that police would be able to tell where most of the fast and reckless driving was happening by looking through files or something. Then I started to develope this idea more. The further development came from some of my designs for cars and bikes. I had this idea for cars that would eventually be linked into the sensor system of the roads, and that if a car did go over the speed limit, the license plate would be marked and documented as having a traffic violation, eliminating some of the time police use trafficing the roads. There would be effects on this though, maybe drivers would not feel so inclined to follow the rules knowing that police wouldnt be likely to pull them over, and that maybe they could just write a letter so they wouldnt have to go to court and pay the whole fine. This would still bring in way more money than the system now, because it would document every traffic violation, at least as far as speeding is concerned. But maybe the gain in money wouldnt be enough, cause people would start to drive more wreckless and there might be more accidents. So this got me thinking that maybe the cars would be allowed to drive their vehicle, but only up until the speed limit, so that they would actually not be allowed to drive over the speed limit. They driver could have control of the speed of the vehicle, but only up until the speed limit. This is more in link with my ideas that I was coming up with for my bike design, with wheels that are essentially the motor for the vehicle. It also corrolates with another idea that ive had before, about a powering system.

Ive had an idea for this universal portable powering energy...thing. Like a spark plug sorta, but more like portable electricity, BUT, it is made to power more than things that run off more than just electricity. So for example, lets just say that there was a small device, about the size of a spark plug, that held some sort of charge. You could use this charge by plugging it into your computer, your car, the tv, the refrigerator, a toaster, the lawn mower, anything. Its sort of like how now on computers, the flash drive port is kind of an essential thing for getting pictures and documents on it, and it can also be used as a port for a mouse or a keyboard, so that older computers dont have these, but newer computers do. Well its kinda like that, we'll say that the new spark plug device is kinda like a flash drive, and that it plugs into a port on any device. This would call for just about every device to be built with these receiving ports, so that you can run them. This is also where my bike design comes into play.

For now, this idea is only meant for a city, where the road sensors are built and whatnot. The city itself would have many stations around and under the city, where it would generate and distribute electricity and power to the city. This is what the spark plugs would be basically linked up to. The spark plug is more or less a wireless connection telling the city power station "hey I have one of these things so let me use your energy now." So in reality, the sparck plug isnt really what actually powers your stuff cause it doesnt really hold a charge. It just sends the signal asking for it. Houses would be built with reactive floors and countertops, that are actually able to distribute power to the refrigerator or the stove, just be contact. By plugging in the spark plug, it would allow for the energy trasnfer. The same would be for the road. Gas stations wouldnt be used like they are now, because cars that are on the system would be powered by the magnetic tracks under the roads. This is where the road system comes into play. The cars wouldnt be able to go over the speed limit, because there would be a limit to how much energy is allowed to one unit on the roads.

This is all probably really goofy and just science fictiony. Its kind of in my head now as a really far off fifth element looking future. It didint start out like that though. I was initially kind of imagining ideas for traffic safety, and I dont really know why I was sorta sitting in the car thinking "hmm maybe i need to think up ways to improve the conditions on the road." I dont know. I think theres more to go with this, but I cant think of anything right now. I should get to bed anyway.

oh yeah

I seem to be turning into a massive nerd for some reason. Heres a site that peeked my interest. Lottsa stuff I wanna look at later.
http://www.nerdcore.de/wp/tag/conceptart/

future, STILL!

So I seem to be on this futuristic kick for some reason. Im still thinking about designing bikes and motorcycles and what not. Right now Im sorta working on this design for a recumbent bike, my original design wasnt recumbent, in fact it had the rider almost laying down on his stomach to ride the bike. I dont really know why it switched to recumbent, oh yeah! I remember now. AAAAAAANY way, i had this idea to have the rider be suspended, and i thought that one of the easiest ways would be to have the rider in a sitting recumbent postition, and then there would be a simple framework that connects the two tires from above the rider.
This is a very rough sketch I did on paint of my idea. The wheels would be hubless and connected by the framework to a fixed part on the sides of the wheel. I was working on a magnetic motor design that would fit inside of the wheels so that it wouldnt have to have a large motor in between the tires, giving the rider space to actually sit between the tires. Im assuming that the controls of powering up the bike could be settled by some wiring that would be in a small panel or something like that in front of the rider. The above sketch isnt quite what i was thinking of for the contour of the frame, but its actually not too bad. I was hoping to come up with a design thats rather simple and looks very minimal, but also looks fast and sleek, and i was hoping to achieve this in just the sketch of the idea, without and detail work to the color or texture or material of the frame. So the curve on the sketch is a little too high for what i was looking for. I want something thats a lot closer to the rider and closer to the ground.
As far as the details though, I figured that there would be a visibility problem based on having the frame in front of the rider. Thinking about this, thats what makes the design of a real bycycle or motorcycle such an appeal as far as a get up and go vehicle. Its already pretty minimal and there are no windshields on a bycycle and on most motorcycles. I dont like windshields on a motorcycle either, but I sort of wanted there to be some sort of a full screen panel/windsheild on this bike. So my idea is to have a metalic material, that looks pretty much just like sleek polished metal as the casing of the bike, or the frame rather. This would serve to make the bike basically one uniform color and overall look. Any pedestrians or onlookers would not be able to see inside or through the metal, but it would be see thru to the rider. Basically like a 2 way mirror, but made of a durable enough material that you would feel a lot safer if you crashed into a wall in this casing. It would have a sort of flight of the navigator look to it I suppose.


I was also working on a new idea for the wheels. This would mainly apply to the rear wheel and its not really a nessesity cause im sure the physics of it would work even if I didnt add this feature, but they might now. Anyway, its an idea to have the rear wheel able to sort of inflate so that it goes from being a really wide and flat tire to more of a robustness in the wheel. This would be so that no kickstand is required and so that the rider could travel at a very slow speed without tipping to either side. Then, when the rider increases speed, the tire could change its shape so that it could lean easier on a turn.

It would go from this shape...
to this shape.

The tire would be made of a series of panels that could sort of morph to create this more rounded shape. It would also allow for the rider to drive over sharp objects or bumps in the road and not feel it because the panels could respond to the terrain and allow for a little bit of a give.

Theres some more stuff to go along with this, but I should get to sleep now. My internet just turned off and even though this post gets saved while Im typing it, Im not going to take any more chances. That and I have to work in 3 and a half hours.

future

i was watching something on future cars, or something like that. thats what the show was called i think. anyway, it was kinda neat, and talked about how the design of cars will change, gas economy should change, and just everything really. they even talked about a car that goes from zero to 100 BACK to zero in 8 seconds, and that it technically should be able to drive upside down given a long enough tunnel. nuts! but anyway, at the end they had a guy named syd mead who they said was the da vinci of car design.They also said that non of his designs have ever actually been made into commercially sold and licensed vehicls.
I think he is so highly regarded because he is basically an artist, and not purley a designer.this is where things start to get jumbled up a bit cause they start to coincide with other stuff that ive been thinking about recently.

Where to begin. Well first off, i guess ill start from this syd guy, and with something that i told keith the other day while we were running. I mentioned something to him about intelligence and the typical or general consensus of what an average person would consider a smart or very smart person. For example, a genius might typically be thought of as a brilliant scientist or mathematician. Or a doctor, or something like that. Some people might mention someone like Michelangelo, but would probably forget. im sure they would agree if someone brought the name up though. But im assuming that no one could really think of a modern day genius outside of einstein, who is not very modern day even though his theories are still being used today, or stephen hawking. they both, however, cover the mathematician and scientist parts of being smart however. Im pretty sure no one knows of any biologist or applied biologist or doctor who is a genius, nothing to date, such as the way lance armstrong is the face of professional cycling and thats all anyone really knows about the sport, theres perhaps no face of the doctoral world outside of maybe patch adams, and there is im sure no personality to call on in reference to the artistic world, outside of Michelangelo and da vinci, who are about 300 years deceased. Someone might be able to mention picasso or van gogh, but im sure they have no reason, or rather no visual reference as to why they are genius's, and they are of course visual artists. someone would probably know that starry night is a piece that is world famous and i dont assume that anyone would really know the name of any picasso. maybe they might be familiar with his blue period and they might have seen les demoiselles d'avignon and guernica, but they have no reason to believe that this makes them a genius. anyway i should get to the point before i get WAY off track which i can feel myself trying to do.

When i was running with keith, i said to him that it is interesting that some of the more intelligent people in the world, or the people who are generally considered intelligent and are regarded highly, are often fond of artists and consider them to be very smart. It seems almost funny that one might be just in saying artists are the muses for those who serve a more direct service to the public. I didnt exactly say those words to keith, but i mentioned that it is interesting the kinds of things artists come up with, which tend to do more with philosophy and aesthetics, which is where the genius of an artist actually comes from, not solely the visual work they produce. of course an artist is supported by his or her work, but that work has to be supported by his or her thoughts first. picasso did not paint les demoiselles d'avignon without thinking that what he was doing might not be considered art by the public. there were theories that went into his painting which is what makes an artist a genius. Because these are theories, philosophies and ideas that are relatable to visual art work as well as an aesthetic view on life and life styles, these artists are regarded highly by those who can understand that much better than those who do not keep up with the times.

Anyway, trying not to sound pretentious, moving on.

Ive been looking at egon shiele lately and i went to a used book store the other day. I was browsing through the art books and saw 2 klimt books that looked really great. im sure i wont find a shiele book, but klimt is not bad to have either. His work is similar at times, but clearly there are major differences in the bulk of the 2 artists work. They both get me inspired though, and i have been doing a little bit of drawing, not much though. Id like to get into a figure drawing class, but oh well.

So today I looked up some programs on the netflix cd thing that keiths girlfriend brought here and its kinda neat, just watching movies on that thing. I was looking through... scifi i think, and saw heavey metal, had to watch it. so awesome. 80's ideas and mentality of the future, full of aliens and dooms day devices. I looked for some more stuff but this time looked under tv or something, and saw aeon flux. well i love the artwork in it, always makes me think of how chung drew his figures so incredibly and often anatomically incorrect, but very slender and poetic, as if every character were a fashion drawing, with a little more muscle, or i guess a lot more muscle. And i love the contrast with his rugrats characters, figures who cant even touch the tops of their own heads cause they are half the size of their entire body.

The pilot episode of rugrats by the way is just phenomenal. i highly recommend it.

Anyway, I thought it was interesting when i was watching aeon flux how after awhile, the figures really reminded my of shiele. I dont think i had ever connected the 2 before, but its hard not to now. And while i was looking up images of aeon flux i came across a blog that had compared the 2, shiele and flux.
http://www.joannemackellar.com/designjournal/?tag=cartoons
I thought it was really neat, but ill try for my own comparison pictures















holy cow i didnt think id get one that good. thats probably the best one im going to find cause its REALLY hard to find concept drawings or stills or anything like that from the show. I also read in another blog someone talking about shiele and that looking at his sketches just makes you wanna draw aeon flux, haha, thought that was kinda neat.

So ANYWAY, since theres more i have to talk about and it doesnt matter how much i put on here cause im not wasting anyones time cause NO ONE READS THIS THING.... when i got finished watching that car show, i came up here to give a go on the whole designing vehicles thing. I am very interested in furniture design, architecture, and i have designed a couple cars and bikes before. So I started drawing and decided that i had to put on my 80's mix, which includes, the cure. joy division and new order, as well as m83....it just sounds 80's so thats why i did it. But theres something funny about when i get in a scifi future mode, and i have to listen to 80's music. not just any though, particularly joy division and new order and even more specifically in a lonely place by new order. I listened to that song and this mix a lot when i read enders game and i think i listened to it too when i was reading 1984. Its really funny cause this 80's future feeling is all just in a familiar place for me. So yeah, i put that one and started to draw and i drifted to bicycles and motorcycle designs. It got me thinking about tron and i was curious who the designer was for the bikes and thought that it had to be just one person, and it was, syd mead.While i was drawing i got to thinking about akira which is also just highly rooted in the whole 80's future fashion and future japanese city overcrowded life.

also, another funny coincidence is that syd mead was hired as a concept artist for blade runner and his designs were used in the movie, which is set in a new york city that has been overcome with a japanese integration of style and whatnot. I just thought it was really coincidental, all this stuff that kinda mixed together. another interesting thing is that the design for the steering and the overall placement of the rider on this bike is very similar to the designs i was working on. I know theres only so many places you can put someone on a bike, but still, pretty similar. now i should post this thing already before my internet shuts down and i loose this whole post.

nothing new

just stuck in the past right now and dont know how to get back
i wasnt thinking this was going to be a poem but i guess ill take a crack

cause im bored and up late, or early rather, its nearly 4
and i feel like im probably going to stay up for at least an hour more

but i guess thats when i do my restless thinking and writing anyway
for some reason i think it gives me an opportunity to say things id never say

cause all i do is sit at the computer and play the same song over and over again
just because it reminds me of a time or a person or places that ive been

but i guess getting stuck in these monotonous patterns helps get something out
cause it forces me to think in a dramatic way and just kinda want to pull my hair or shout

but instead i sit in my chair and then pace back and forth, melting around my room
and then finally i get a pencil out and write it out and draw it down while im still listening to the same old tune

i dont know why i force myself to think about these times that are just over and done with
cause if theres any hope of something that might remain i just act selfish and want it back like when i was a kid

and these people are never going to come back, my dog is dead and he has been for years,
ive never really known my dad my whole life and the only thing i inherited from him is a lack to produce tears

those little things and little interactions were nothing to her and it was just wishful thinking
but it still means the world to me, and im sure that those memories in her are doing nothing but shrinking

i know i get caught up on some stuff sometimes, and i feel like it wont pass
and that i should just stop my plans and go for it cause its sure to be my last chance

but theres very few things that i act that way about
and maybe i just need to stay up late sometimes and write stuff down to try and get it out

but i must admit that some things come back again and again, one thing in particular, that happened awhile ago
but i still write poems and songs and stay up late listening to your playlist cause its hard for me to let go

its funny cause i was always just blown away back then and thought i was pretty much dreaming
cause i couldnt figure out why she would have any sort of interest in me, right from the beginning

this is pointless to write this down im just going on about nothing
im just writing this down cause i want to remember it because it really meant something

but what is this going to do? change anything? rewind the clock to those nights in your room?
drinking vitamin water and playing those same few songs on your itunes?

i just really miss that i guess and i wish that time you looked out your window meant something to you
because at the time it gave me all the hope in the world and meant more than you knew

and to be honest it still means something to me. i mean i remember it and im up writing about it right now
o my gosh and that time we walked back from the alleys and i kissed your cheek as we held hands walking through town

i guess i could say thank you for those times, cause i still remember stuff i sorta forgot about sometimes
and youve certainly helped me with more than a few songs and gave me loads of lyrics and lines

and its really great to have those memories and to know that those things were a part of my life
even if i still regret some of my decisions and still think about how i could have done things differently in hindsight

and this isnt really a poem, its just me thinking about you like always
cause this is just how i think, and even if it does rhym, it wont change anything anyway.

too busy saving no ones world

funny how you asked if i remembered who you were and i still cant even forget that moment

pictures i took

View from the boat house on Caz Lake
Pictures of Camilles wedding ring while I was inside the boat house

A rabbit at South Campus
And one of the last pictures I took before the screen on my camera stopped working. Im guessing all that water from the down pour I found myself stuck in wasnt too good for it.

Painted a wall with my finger. It was inspired from this thing i did when i was kinda little. I was probably like, i dont know 11 or something. anyway, i used to stay up late by myself in my room thinking about a lotta stuff. Well i did must have been thinking about the future, and about what life would be like for me when i got older, and i tried to connect to myself as an older person somehow, and i just sorta realized that there was going to be a point when i wouldnt be living in that house anymore or sleeping in that bed, or going to my school and all this stuff. I just was kinda realizing that things, everything, changes for everyone, and that the world that we all knew as kids was going to change. so i put my finger on the wall because i was tryign to show myself that this act was me controling what was happening throughout time. We all pretty much have control of the way our lives will turn out. we can decide to study a certain subject in school and end up getting a career in that field or choose a sport or whatever. And this was me choosing something in my life to control. but it was also a way to show myself that, no matter how much control we have over the things in our lives, it is inevitable for it to end, and that everything is already a memory. all of the thigns i was thinking about that were going to change, me living in the house, me going to school, catching the bus in the morning and eating dinner at the dinner table with my family, all of that was already a memory. i was sort of in a nostalgic mood for the thigns that hadent happened yet, like the things i was waiting for, like high school and sports and what not, but i was actually right about the nostalgia for my life at the moment, because up until that point, there were so many things that had already come to pass, because everything was a memory to me, and nothing was forever perminent. I dont really know what could mean, perminence in this sort of situation that im talking about, but anyway, my finger on the wall was a sign to show me that even though i could hold my finger there for as long as i wanted, it was all a memory, and that at some point my finger wasnt going to be on the wall anymore. it was strange to look at my finger and try and hold this moment forever. not that it was something significant in the lives every person, like a first kiss or something like that, but it was significant to me. anyway, i painted a wall as a mural project for this one class i took in college, which im no longer going to! cause it didnt last and everythign changes. and also i kind of feel like ive beatten this everything changes thing to death. I just felt like uploading a picture and im pretty sure ive already said something about this more than once on here. but whatever, maybe i got something new out of it this time. and its not like im wasting anyones time anyway, cause no one reads this thing.

Scintillation

found this a while ago, also just putting something on the blog right now so that the picture of the mountain below isnt obscured but the graphics of the blogspot website, but i really like this video too. I like the music and the video and the effects and the way they work together. I read something about how it was put together but i had no idea what it was talking about. I really didnt look too far into it, but i probably should.

http://vimeo.com/3114617

Thomas Kneubühler

Found this guy from another blog called we cant paint. like some of his stuff. reminds me of Michael Mann in some shots, with the city views and the wide shots of the pavement at night. And maybe a similar use of the focus of the shot. dont really know, just reminds me of him.

He also has this bunch of photos in a collection called electric mountains. i thought they were great.


http://www.thomaskneubuhler.com/projects/3

painting

Come back to the town where you grew up in

that humble small village where havin fun is a sin

where you had your share of firsts way back when you were young

where you found your high school sweet hearts and had a blast and it also stung

where you tripped and fell down that hill side and got all those bruises

where that group of older bullies used to taunt and call you losers

where you tried out for the school play and went out for the track team

where opening night was a hit and in your first race you got creamed

where you built your first tree fort where no girls were allowed

where you spent your 4 of julys and enjoyed the fireworks and the sounds

of the people and their grillen and their dogs and their children

with the smell of the beer and the sparklers all burnt out

or that party at your dads bosses house where you accidentally let the dog out

or that field where the grass was so high it tickled your nose

or that pond you discovered and just had to jump in with your clothes

where you wore out your favorite t shirt and grew out of your jeans

when goin over to your best friends house whose a girl changed in your teens

where you picked the apples right off a the trees

where you found that big bee hive and got stung by all those bees

where there a came point you had to learn the value of a buck

when your dad stopped huggin you and started shakin your hand and say good luck

where you got your first job pullin weeds and mowin lawns

when you stayed up all night just to watch the stars turn to dawn

when you dad would come home yellin and drunk

and he told you to get in the car and you held the wheel for him and his breath really stunk

where you sat on the roof of the shed just to watch the horizon

and could feel the summer breeze and the leaves on the trees and sometimes the view was better with your eyes closed

when that girl from the soccer team started to talk to you everyday

and you had no idea why but you liked it cause you had all these things you wanted to say

where you sat by your friends in the stands in the gym

where you led the chant at the volleyball games and the home team would always win

and the first time you saw the first dog that you owned

where you played and you wrestled in the back a your old home

where the bahs of the sheep would flock across the back field

where you started to questions whats fake and whats real

where your folks were transformed from grown ups to older

where their bones grew tight when the weather got colder

where you stayed up all night alone in your room

wondering when or how close or how soon

it would be till you left the place where you grew

filled with memories and relics of your childhood youth

when you wondered when all this comfort would end

from your first day of school to the day you buried your best friend

where the little house in the back yard got grown over in moss

and the dish you used to fill with dog food everyday has since then been lost

remember the days when youd climb the hey stacks in the back

when you could goof off all day and loose time and loose track

go back to the time when you had to throw out all that junk you collected

when you protested the day the frogs were dissected

when you met that girl and her smile was infectious

and knew from that day you two were connected

remember the way the leaves would dance from the piles you made when the dog would jump in

but the piles stand still and the musics stopped playin since then

and dont forget the tricker treaters that came by the house pretending to haunt

cause now on halloween the streets there are empty and the voices are gone

remember the bon fires and prom nights and graduation

and the home games and dances and late night celebrations

and the songs in the summer, an anthem of the times

cause these things are now gone, stolen, a crime

looking back on these days its hard to keep movin

forward knowing the speed that your cruisin

when the future aint bright and your having your doubts

and you feel like theres still some things that you might have missed out

well dont worry about the opportunities wasted

your hopeless regrets for the things you never tastes

or the friendships lost, relationships complacent

or the trouble you caused, cause you can never erase it.