nothing new

just stuck in the past right now and dont know how to get back
i wasnt thinking this was going to be a poem but i guess ill take a crack

cause im bored and up late, or early rather, its nearly 4
and i feel like im probably going to stay up for at least an hour more

but i guess thats when i do my restless thinking and writing anyway
for some reason i think it gives me an opportunity to say things id never say

cause all i do is sit at the computer and play the same song over and over again
just because it reminds me of a time or a person or places that ive been

but i guess getting stuck in these monotonous patterns helps get something out
cause it forces me to think in a dramatic way and just kinda want to pull my hair or shout

but instead i sit in my chair and then pace back and forth, melting around my room
and then finally i get a pencil out and write it out and draw it down while im still listening to the same old tune

i dont know why i force myself to think about these times that are just over and done with
cause if theres any hope of something that might remain i just act selfish and want it back like when i was a kid

and these people are never going to come back, my dog is dead and he has been for years,
ive never really known my dad my whole life and the only thing i inherited from him is a lack to produce tears

those little things and little interactions were nothing to her and it was just wishful thinking
but it still means the world to me, and im sure that those memories in her are doing nothing but shrinking

i know i get caught up on some stuff sometimes, and i feel like it wont pass
and that i should just stop my plans and go for it cause its sure to be my last chance

but theres very few things that i act that way about
and maybe i just need to stay up late sometimes and write stuff down to try and get it out

but i must admit that some things come back again and again, one thing in particular, that happened awhile ago
but i still write poems and songs and stay up late listening to your playlist cause its hard for me to let go

its funny cause i was always just blown away back then and thought i was pretty much dreaming
cause i couldnt figure out why she would have any sort of interest in me, right from the beginning

this is pointless to write this down im just going on about nothing
im just writing this down cause i want to remember it because it really meant something

but what is this going to do? change anything? rewind the clock to those nights in your room?
drinking vitamin water and playing those same few songs on your itunes?

i just really miss that i guess and i wish that time you looked out your window meant something to you
because at the time it gave me all the hope in the world and meant more than you knew

and to be honest it still means something to me. i mean i remember it and im up writing about it right now
o my gosh and that time we walked back from the alleys and i kissed your cheek as we held hands walking through town

i guess i could say thank you for those times, cause i still remember stuff i sorta forgot about sometimes
and youve certainly helped me with more than a few songs and gave me loads of lyrics and lines

and its really great to have those memories and to know that those things were a part of my life
even if i still regret some of my decisions and still think about how i could have done things differently in hindsight

and this isnt really a poem, its just me thinking about you like always
cause this is just how i think, and even if it does rhym, it wont change anything anyway.