MESSAGE to a friend

Hey, howsa going?

So we havent really been keeping in touch it seems. Come to think of it, its kinda weird that we do keep in touch at all, but its neat! Hows summer going? its almost over by now! Kinda. If I were going back to school Id only have a couple of weeks till I went back for cross country. Jeez come to think of it I better get in better shape and quick! I planned on racing my friend Chris when he returned for cross country, and I planned on beating him too, so I better get to it. I havent been running in the past month or so, but last night, my friend from high school ran to our house and I got ready and went running just under 5 miles with him at 11 at night. It was great, he's always been much faster than me but somehow I was able to run with him and it wasnt that bad, until I had to poop. MAN that sucks, having to poop when youre running is the worst.

But yeah, so Im in Ithaca now and its nice here. For the first couple weeks it was really neat cause my friend Mike and Jake live here, my friend Curt was living here, and I live with my friend Keith and his twin brother Zach. All of us were on the cross country team in high school except for Zach, and we went swimming one day, and it was awesome. I didnt think about it till we were walking back to the car, but it was kind of unreal to see all these guys I was hanging out with, cause Ive never really been to Ithaca before, and I was hanging out with a group of friends already, and they were guys I used to hang out with all the time. It was so great. Since then however, Curts moved away. He went to school at Ithaca College but he graduated. Mike and Jake both go to Cornell and have a few more years here. And since then Ive been feeling kinda crummy.

It took me a couple weeks till I got a job here. But they were pretty nice weeks. I was running and biking all over the place, going swimming and cliff diving in the gorges every other day, hanging out with my friends, playing guitar and working on some art stuff. It was neato. O man, and the deer, theres deer every where in my neighborhood. I thought that was cool too. But now I got a job cleaning a Target, and I hate it. Not only does working there give me a bad feeling, its actually making me feel bad. I think Im getting sick from the chemicals and cleaning stuff. I also watched this movie called No Impact Man, maybe youve heard of it. If not, its a documentary about a guy, his wife and his daughter who try to not have any sort of negative impact on the environment for a year. So they dont drive or use electricity, they get all their food locally, its neato. I liked it. But it was also kind of in line with some stuff I have been writing about, about finding ways to make more cost effective materials, and not waste materials with the idea of making money, when it cost more than you gain. Its sort of like the way we drill for oil now. Companies spend a certain amount of money and oil in order to drill and refine oil, thats sort of necessary in order to get it. But now, they are using up more than they are getting, and it just doesnt make any sense. Its kind of like saying, "well I need a car to get to my job, so Im going to get a job to save to get a car" Silly things like that, where people dont realize that they are being absolutely ridiculous. And the fact that people are doing silly thigns like this isnt really what everyone misses. I mean it kind of is, but thats not whats so important. Whats ridiculous is that these actions of every day safe and healthy routine are considered a safe and healthy routine. It might be sad that it seems in this cycle of getting a car to get to your job so you can get a car is what runs peoples lives today, but its even more sad that people dont realize that this routine isnt healthy, and not just because it turns you into this being that is striving to get something that isnt whats really important to it. The sad part is that this stuff is just really bad for the environment and for your health, and people dont see that there every day actions are so out of whack now. Just because we do it every day and because this is the way the world works now, doesnt mean its a good thing. It would be like a kid who is born into a racist nazi house hold. The only thing he's ever known is what his parents tell him, so he goes through life thinking that this is the way things are and these are the truths that he knows. Some one might say something to him like" youre ridiculous, how can you think like that? Dont you know that what youre doing is wrong and destructive?" But he wouldnt know that, because he doesnt understand how the way he's lived his whole life could be wrong. Its worked for him and he's still alive, so it must be fine. But I could say that same line to just about anyone and it would be the same thing. "youre ridiculous, how can you think like that? Dont you know that what youre doing is wrong and destructive?" The only thing is, I wouldnt be talking about racism. Id be talking about the routines of people lives which they dont see are harmful. Like buying things every day, and then throwing it out, as if once a piece of waste goes in the garbage it disappears. And my job has really helped me to see that a little more, and also gotten me kind of angry about it. What my employers want to see from me is a "clean store" Now, we all know what clean means, but that doesnt mean that its actually clean. What they want to see are shiny tile floors and carpets with no stains and no garbage on the ground. They wanna see bathrooms that are spotless and windows with no streaks, they want to see organized products on the shelves and garbage cans with little to no garbage in them. But what I do isnt clean the store, I just rub chemicals on the ground that make it shiny, I rub chemicals on the toilet and in the sinks, spray the windows with some toxic spray and buff the floors with tanks of fuel. Then, I wipe it all up with paper towels, tons of paper towels and throw them in the garbage and wash the chemicals down the drain, where it goes back into our water system. Then, I collect all of the garbage and compile it into one spot. The funny thing is, probably about a third of the garbage is from me, using stuff to clean up the garbage. And most of the stuff that is already in the garbage is stuff that was already in the store, cases and containers for batteries and video games, tags to clothes, tampons, diapers, food wrappers and soda cans, a lot of stuff that doesnt even leave the store, and now its garbage. If you look at it my way, the next time you walk into a clean Target, youre going to see a lot of garbage. They stock the shelves with it, its in the packaging and the labeling of everything, every useless advertisement and attention grabber, just so that the companies can try their best to ensure that it will catch the eye of a potential buyer, ensuring a sell so that they can make more money. But all the money that is wasted in trying to ensure these sales, is like drilling with oil to get oil. And Im good at my job too, and they tell me that I dun good and they appreciate having me there. I leave the store every morning leaving the place looking spotless, but its one of the dirtiest things Ive seen.

I work 4 am to 10 am and I dont mind the ride to work, I ride my bike. I see deer just about every morning and its great cause sometimes they get a little spooked, this morning one ran along side me for 10 meters or so, but usually they just look up from the grass, see its me, and go right back to chewing on their greens. They are usually right by the road too. I dont know, that was probably a lot for one note. haha. Its weird, but I feel like this feeling is sort of coming out of nowhere, but then I think that its actually in line with everything Ive always thought to be right and true. Like why I dont have a car and why Ive wanted to go live in the woods and off the land ever since I can remember. Its only now that Im actually getting a basis for the things that Ive thought. Before, most of my morals were a little more philosophical, but now its straight from examples of stuff I see and live every day. I dont know, I need to think of something. Im not going to work here much longer. I also got a side job doing catering with Keith, he works at a bakery. Its fun, but theres just as much waste. Once you know the way things are, you cant really unsee it. Its kinda like if youre friend said something really awful about you behind your back and you found out about it. Every time you say them, youd know what was really going on. And it would suck, cause it would make you angry, this person who was supposed to be loyal and someone who youve depended on for years isnt quite what you thought. Well its kinda like that. Theres this store down the road that sells a lot of local foods I think, and I got an application. I gotta figure something out.

Anyway, this is probably a lot heavier than any thing else Ive sent you, haha, but its sort of whats going on, and I guess its actually really getting to me. I hope youre having fun this summer and it would be so awesome if you could have come up here. It so nice here! there are so many gorges and places to swim and lots of green open areas with great views. Its beautiful here. Too bad you couldnt come.
Miss you, Hank